Saturday, January 28, 2012

Stupid articles about relationships and how COMPLICATED they are

Once every couple of years, an article more or less like this one comes out, to much commentary and general boohaha, in what I had previously thought was a respectable publication. As I hear they're starting to call the author the Tolstoy of our time (if you know what I mean), I'll understand if you can't be arsed to read the whole thing and will summarize it for you in the following:

The author, a woman approaching middle age, ruminates as to how it could be that someone as attractive and intelligent as she is (she never outright says that she is these things but it nonetheless seems to be her entire point in writing the article) could still be single. Ruminate, ruminate, ruminate. Then she gives a bunch of statistics that I'm pretty sure don't demonstrate anything in particular, but that she seems to think prove that there are more quality, attractive, and intelligent women than men out there nowadays, which means that there will inevitably be a glut of single women in society (or something). As further evidence as to this thesis, she provides several anecdotes about friends of hers who have dated losers and a litany of bad dates she has been on as well as nice guys that she just wasn't that interested in. Then she talks about a bunch more things that I'm not really sure what their point is, like how college students have casual sex after pub night, and then at the end she spends several pages being like "you know what, maybe being single is actually really great and I am tired of everyone shitting on it!" And then that's it.

Right well, I have several points to make about this article and all the other idiotic ones like it. Here they are:

1) Being single can be great, just don't belie your own claim that it's great by obsessing at extreme length over how it can be possible that you're single.

2) You may be single, and you may have single friends. All of you may be very attractive, intelligent, educated, and generally supremely delightful. This proves nothing about the general trends of society.

3) If you are a single woman who wants to be single, then that is great and there is no need to have a big discussion about why you are single. If you are a single woman who does not want to be single, sorry to burst your bubble, but the reason you are single is not because there is no man within spitting distance who is as attractive, intelligent, or well-educated as you. Enough with these stupid theories. They are not true and serve the interests of nobody.

4) You want a theory that probably is true? Well, I have one for ya. If there is indeed an unusually large number of single women who do not want to be single, which I'm not convinced is the case, but let's just say for argument's sake that it is, maybe it's because despite their unprecedented levels of education and apparent confidence in their intelligence and attractiveness, they don't have any higher self-esteem than they ever did and are consistently attracted only to men who are emotionally unavailable and won't give them the relationship they claim to want.

So have we settled that? Can we stop seeing these stupid articles now? Thanks.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

As today is New Year's Day, I came up with some resolutions, just like I did last year. I also reflected on to what extent I fulfilled last year's resolutions and, if I did, to what extent they made me happier. But first things first: this year's resolutions.

Resolution 1: I will recognize that happiness is a choice, and I will choose happiness. I will not allow small setbacks to throw me too far off course.

Resolution 2: If the shoe doesn't fit, I will take it off. If this is for some reason not possible right away, I will make a concrete plan to make it happen as soon as possible.

Resolution 3: I will allow only open, loving people into my life. I will be asshole-free.

And with that, here is my assessment of my resolutions from last year:

Resolution 1: investing time and energy in my friendships. When I succeeded in doing it, which wasn't as often as I would have liked, it definitely made me happier. Good one.

Resolution 2: communicate clearly, i.e. ask for what I want, tell someone when I'm upset. I found this very hard to do because it seems people are not used to hearing anything really honest and are generally very taken aback. However, again, when I did it it was worthwhile because it revealed which relationships were worth keeping.

Resolution 3: trust my gut. Yes. Forcing myself to do this is the single most important change I have made in my life thus far. I don't mean to be ridiculously arrogant, but you should all do it too.